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This has been happening to me more often lately, and I'm not really sure what it is. Sometimes, when I go out with my friends or even when I'm at school, at random points I seem to have some weird change of personality. My voice changes, the way I speak changes, the things I say change, I just act completely different. When in this state, everything inside me feels strangely "uplifted" or something, as if I were really just an entirely different person.

During this time, my normal self is still a little concious more in the back of my head and "I" realise whats happening, as if me and something else is sharing the vision through my body. I also hear the new, unusual part of me thats currently 'in control' in the more focused part of my thoughts.

My friends have always just thought of this as me being tired or something; I never used to talk as much during these states and they usually didn't last very long. Now, however, I'm starting to weird some people out and on a car ride home just tonight with one of my friends, I was in that weird state and telling him about all this.

I've been finding it a little difficult to surpress this weird personality 'back into' me, which I do by 'lowering' the feeling inside me back to it's normal state. Usually when I try to do this, it tells me not to.

I'm so fucking weird and things are only getting worse @_@. I'm really like.. the only person in my family with so many problems and no one even knows about them. I dont -want- to tell anyone either and it's starting to burn me up a little inside.

Also, I dont think this is Schizophrenia as my friend thought it was after I read up on that a little. It just doesn't seem to match quite right. Though, I'm wondering if this is going to develope into something more serious.. and I'm really starting to get very scared of that now that I'm thinking about it. Theres also no one close by that can -actually- help me. Anyone I know, including my parents, are just not the people I want help from. The person I want to help me probably doesn't even exist @_@.

GOD IM WEIRD.

Dunno exactly what you mean by "uplifted.." Like, I would consider something like that to feel good, but you're kinda putting it into a negative context, so I'm not sure what you're feeling. I would say it might be bipolar issues, but those spells don't just happen in small instances...it usually takes the better part of a day to a week or more to cycle through those kinda emotional shifts (if what I remember is right...).

And if it happens when you're out with your friends, it could just be that something's either setting you off or making you uncomfortable to an extent that it feels like your personality is shifting, where you're really just being apprehensive.

Idunno...any of that sound possible?

EDIT: and if you're really serious about looking for help, you might want to try counselling (if you haven't before...I know you mentioned multiple problems...). I don't know what the system is like at your school, but is there somebody there to talk to about this? That might be a start.

Hmm, does it happen only when u r with ur friends? o_o

maybe u like one of them and thats causing u that :O (im no joking lol! what if its that? no one can explain love anyways~)

or maybe ur feeling guilty of something u did



whatever it is, i dont think u should worry about it~ cause it doesnt seem to be something bad (zomg 4got the word! ~_~), but u can either look for help or just let it go and see what happens XD


~rememer we r always here to help ya, even if its not TEH HELP u need, its still something <3

That happens to me a lot.

Maybe you have multiple personality disorder? :X It's possible, I suppose.

Like there are those times I'm uber-serious and all philisophical and stuff.

And during those times I don't use smileys o_o

But there was this time last year I was with some of my friends walking near the beach at one of their houses

and then I was talking all different, and way more serious, and I even though of life differently

it was creepy though, cause she said she felt creeped out and she couldn't look directly into my eyes o_o;

She thought I was possessed o_o

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), formerly called Multiple Personality Disorder, has several diagnostic features:
• The presence of two or more distinct identities, each with its own unique, and enduring, way of relating to the world and self.

• At least two of these identities recurrently take control of the person’s behavior.

• An inability to recall important personal information to an extent that is more than ordinary forgetfulness. Classic examples are finding new clothes in your closet which you don’t remember buying; finding yourself in a place or situation and not being able to remember how you got there; having a complete loss of memory for what happened in the previous few days.



DID would not be diagnosed if the symptoms did not cause a major disturbance to the person’s life or if they were due to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., drugs or alcohol) or a general medical condition.

Depersonalization Disorder refers to the experience of feeling detached or estranged from one’s self, but with reality testing intact; that is, you know what is happening, but you don’t feel like you’re experiencing it yourself or don’t feel like you’re experiencing it in your body.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

I put stuff about DID since MPD is usually caused by life-threatening trauma before the age of 7, but the earliest age for DID to appear is 7 :x

<!--QuoteBegin-Elosai+May 28 2006, 06:19 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Elosai 4 May 28 2006, 06:19 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Dunno exactly what you mean by "uplifted.." Like, I would consider something like that to feel good, but you're kinda putting it into a negative context, so I'm not sure what you're feeling. I would say it might be bipolar issues, but those spells don't just happen in small instances...it usually takes the better part of a day to a week or more to cycle through those kinda emotional shifts (if what I remember is right...).

And if it happens when you're out with your friends, it could just be that something's either setting you off or making you uncomfortable to an extent that it feels like your personality is shifting, where you're really just being apprehensive.

Idunno...any of that sound possible?

EDIT: and if you're really serious about looking for help, you might want to try counselling (if you haven't before...I know you mentioned multiple problems...). I don't know what the system is like at your school, but is there somebody there to talk to about this? That might be a start. <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
It's not only with my friends, and nothing happens to make me uncomfortable when it happens. And as weird as it sounds, I dont -want- to look for help or have it come to me, although I sitll want it at the same time, if that makes any sense @_@.

Kami - thx, but those arent the reasons <3

Rai-kun - The last thing in that quote you had about Depersonalization Disorder sounds A LOT like me. If I have anything, it's that.

Well it does seem to fit you to a point, Eri-kun~

Taken from
<a href="http://www.depersonalization.info/overview.html" target="_blank">http://www.depersonalization.info/overview.html</a>

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->While a degree of depersonalization may be present in other illnesses, like schizophrenia, this is not a psychotic condition. The person knows that something is terribly wrong, and grapples with trying to figure out what it is. If anything, it's the opposite of insanity. It's like being too sane. You become hypervigilant of your existence and things around you.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec--> Chronically depersonalized persons (or D-People as they're often called) are usually highly intelligent, and prone to intellectual ruminating. Onset is most often seen at an early age, from around puberty to the late twenties.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Accordingly, people with DP disorder become masters at maintaining a front, appearing quite normal to friends, family and co-workers...You do what you're expected to, and say what others expect you too, all the while feeling as if you're acting out of habit, says John, a 32-year-old filmmaker who has had the condition for six years. Your mind is always a million miles away. All natural spontaneity and joy of living is gone. You know something's wrong, and you're constantly battling with what it might be, and evaluating how you feel.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->The epidemic, it seems, is being experienced by many persons with no history of abuse nor any of the traditional causes.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->The condition is often linked with depression and anxiety states, adds Janiger. But there are many people who feel depersonalized but not depressed, and not anxious, unless the DP causes them to be.

I never felt what I would consider to be clinically depressed, says Ron, who now in his thirties, has suffered with Depersonalization Disorder for 15 years And the anxiety isn't spontaneous for me. It's always as a result of my thinking in circles over and over again about life, death, infinity, and what's wrong with me.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

The only part that doesn't fit is that it is usually caused by marijuana, ecstasy or LSD...but then there are even exceptions to that:

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Still, there are the pure cases, where DP comes about for no particular reason, like it did for Karen, young Englishwoman in her twenties.

I came from a normal family and have never been abused.. I've just always been this way. It has never been a choice for me. I have never been officially diagnosed for depersonalization... But all the things match up. I've never really known who I am. I wish I did. I envy others in their secure identities...

Things that are supposed to be "familiar" look bizarre and incomprehensible. There is a big hole in my understanding of human relations and communication, nothing makes much sense as a whole.

Often when someone calls my name I don't feel identified with it. Nothing seems real.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Depersonalization is a very unpleasant feeling, despite the fact that is often manifests itself by a seeming lack of feeling, says German psychologist Ursula Oberst. Stories by depersonalized people have a true flavor of existentialism about them. Philosophers wrote about it and theorized about it. But D-people feel it, and the feeling can be too much to bear.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->As more sufferers of the condition converge on the internet, more common symptoms are also emerging with greater clarity. For instance, D-People seem to be particularly susceptible to the condition when they spend time in fluorescent lighting, like that found in most retail stores. In addition, for most persons, DP seems be strongest in the mornings and progressively better as the day progresses. If they take naps, it can re-emerge with a vengeance.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->...it's like the ocean, wondrous and deep unless you're drowning in it. Then all you want is a way out<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Sorry if I make you seem like you're mentally screwed. :X I'm just good at attacking people critically by hitting every single one of their weak points at once. Mental-games-FTW.

Thanks a lot for the info, Rai-kun~. =3

And no, you didn't make me feel that way at all X3

A lot of those symptoms seem to match me, while at the same time some dont. The biggest match I'd have to say is the way it feels to be in that state. Mabye it's just not that severe yet and is still developing, or mabye I'm just crazy. o.o

<!--QuoteBegin-Elion+May 28 2006, 02:40 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Elion 4 May 28 2006, 02:40 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Kami - thx, but those arent the reasons <3 <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
how dare u say that XP

u dont know what it is! dont discard those options haha! rai has a lot of info but im gonna be right in the end LOL XDDD

<!--QuoteBegin-KamiKaner+May 29 2006, 04:33 AM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(KamiKaner 4 May 29 2006, 04:33 AM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-Elion+May 28 2006, 02:40 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Elion 4 May 28 2006, 02:40 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Kami - thx, but those arent the reasons <3 <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
how dare u say that XP

u dont know what it is! dont discard those options haha! rai has a lot of info but im gonna be right in the end LOL XDDD <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
What makes you think that? o.o

Theres nothing to feel guilty about and I dont 'like' any of the friends I've been hanging out with recently.

Hmmm.. Well, to tell you the truth.. o___o I think I have something like this as well, but I think yours is more serious, Elion-san.

Hmm.. Remember that day with Plato? That was one of those times.. I didn't seem like myself. I wasn't even punctuating like I usually do XD;; I think Rai-kun has got it though, that's probably what you have. And at the point you're in now... Maybe it's just the early stages? Mine doesn't happen as often, it's only happened like 5 times in my life as far as I can remember, actually. I always feel weird after that, like.. traumatized or something @_@.

Either way, we're here for you Elion-san, no matter what! ^~^

<!--QuoteBegin-Llumina+May 29 2006, 06:11 AM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Llumina 4 May 29 2006, 06:11 AM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Hmmm.. Well, to tell you the truth.. o___o I think I have something like this as well, but I think yours is more serious, Elion-san.

Hmm.. Remember that day with Plato? That was one of those times.. I didn't seem like myself. I wasn't even punctuating like I usually do XD;; I think Rai-kun has got it though, that's probably what you have. And at the point you're in now... Maybe it's just the early stages? Mine doesn't happen as often, it's only happened like 5 times in my life as far as I can remember, actually. I always feel weird after that, like.. traumatized or something @_@.

Either way, we're here for you Elion-san, no matter what! ^~^ <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Thanks. =3

Also, I'm not sure if me and Rai-kun have the same problem. I of course cant assume much since all I know is what he's said here, but what he said sounds pretty normal IMO. I personally have times like that where I become more serious; a lot of people do. However, like I said, I dunno; thats just my guess.

What's wrong with you, Ali? O.o Dont be afraid to share~ =3

Wow, I'd never heard of that DP disorder before...I think there are times when I felt similar stuff to that, but I don't wanna call it DP. Like, there are times where I'm feeling very disassociated, but that's only on special occasions, like if I see a really, really engrossing and good movie, or if I see a painting or landscape of extraordinary beauty, or even read a good book...I guess, it's when I experience something so profound it makes me stop taking normal experiences for granted, and heightens my awareness, to the point where it seems I'm not a part of my surroundings, but examining everything.

And what you said earlier about not really wanting help Elion, if you're really relating to a lot of this DP stuff, then I think I can understand why it wouldn't feel so pressing to fix things. Kind of believing that there's something wrong with you while simultaneously believing that there's nothing in you that needs fixing.

Oh, haha! When I said Rai-kun has it, I didn't mean he HAD DID, I meant that I think that Rai-kun had the answer to what you had! X3

Hmmm.. my problem.. I'm not sure if I even have a disorder, maybe I'm just weird >.<; Sometimes, like that day, everything around me seems to shut down. And it's like something else took over my mind.. like I'm just watching what I'm doing.. (Aah the word slips me XD) Like.. Im.. alienated from my mind. Like I can SEE what I'm doing, but it's not me at all. Or... I dunno It's so hard to explain the feeling.

<!--QuoteBegin-Llumina+May 29 2006, 05:53 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Llumina 4 May 29 2006, 05:53 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I can SEE what I'm doing <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
thats the point of having eyes

:| -Resists urge to strangle Kami-

Anyways... Yeah. That's what's wrong with me >.<;